As An Anxious Person, Why Would An Avoidant Like to Be With Me?

Ever wondered why an avoidant would want to be with someone anxious? 🤯 It might surprise you, but your anxious traits, yes, the ones you sometimes wish you didn't have, can actually be deeply attractive to avoidants. In this video, we explore the psychology behind avoidant-anxious relationships. We’ll answer a viewer’s question about why avoidants are drawn to anxious partners, break down the emotional push-pull dynamic, and explain why your sensitivity, emotional insight, and adaptability aren’t flaws. They’re actually strengths that avoidants often crave (even if they won’t admit it). We also talk about how anxious traits like persistence and “chasing” can be powerful when used in the right dose. If you’re anxiously attached and confused about why your avoidant partner still seems drawn to you, this video will help you reframe your thinking, and maybe even reclaim your power. ▶️ WATCH NEXT: Karolina (anxious) confronts Gabriel (avoidant) about power games https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhpl96zW5vc&list=PL5uNYeU_tJpIFUiuuz01-U06jKn9TmJUi&index=2 ⏭️ CHAPTERS 00:00 - Intro 01:02 - Viewer question: why do avoidants choose anxious partners? 02:20 - Anxious people doubt their value 02:45 - Is an anxious insecurity good or bad for avoidants? 04:36 - What makes anxious people appealing to avoidants 06:26 - Avoidants crave the safety of an anxious person 10:34 - Why avoidants need anxious people 12:09 - Power & control vs trust & healing 15:04 - More anxious qualities avoidants find attractive 17:01 - Reframing negative anxious traits as qualities 19:22 - Anxious qualities need to be dosed 23:58 - Adaptability is a desirable trait 28:34 - Pushiness in the right dose is also a quality 30:15 - Chasing can also be a quality avoidants desire 31:37 - Balancing the use of qualities is key 33:20 - Avoidant's test anxious people 34:49 - Summary 37:01 - Wrap-up 🎧 PREFER TO LISTEN? Audio Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2489248/follow 📚 RESOURCES Website: https://www.simplytogether.co Attach an Avoidant Program: https://www.simplytogether.co/attach-an-avoidant/ Ex Back Program: https://www.simplytogether.co/ex-back-program-selection/ Ex Back Coaching: https://www.simplytogether.co/ex-back-coaching-selection/