The Anxious Avoidant Relationship

Learn more about my life changing programs below: The Unity Program: @ty-program/ The Peace Program: @ce-program/ Follow me on Instagram: @nwar/ Anxious Avoidant relationships vary massively in their dynamics. This is a very brief look at breaking the cycle that generally occurs. I have personally helped and seen hundreds upon hundreds of different nuances and forms of this dynamic where couples go through cycles of closeness, separation, and back to closeness. With explosive arguments and resentments. One principal remains the same for them all: You must realise that YOU are the only source of your own love, and of your own misery. Once you take radical responsibility for your inner state, everything begins to shift into a healthier, more self empowered direction. Both the avoidant and the anxious are exhibiting wounded behaviours from the same core wound: "I'm not enough, I'm not worthy of closeness and safe relaxed love". So they manifest it in reality through their thoughts and actions. Both must see that the root wound can only be solved from inside of themselves. Not through their partner. So long as they look to find love only through another person, they will repeat the same wounded patterns over and over. Whether this is with the same partner, or with a different one. The avoidant: Must practice being less intellectual. Take part in more "feeling" behaviours. Throw logic aside, and partake in the emotions of your partner. Give more physical and verbal affection, even if it feels uncomfortable. At a pace that you can sustain. Over time, this re-wires your system to become very comfortable with emotions and closeness. Without you feeling drained, or afraid of loss of autonomy. Know that your partner's desire for your emotional connection, is definitely not a judgement of you. It's not that you're "not good enough". Know that your fulfilment will never come from mental activities or your career. It's in your own best interest to heal and reconnect with your heart. With your ability to FEEL sweet emotions, as this is what will give you lasting inner fulfilment. The anxious: Must practice a little more self soothing. Take back some of the energy that you put on your partner. Find ways to calm and challenge your thoughts that catastrophise situations where your partner seems to be quiet or disinterested. Know that you are safe, no matter what happens. Your partner is not your saviour. But you can communicate calmly with your partner to ask for some assurance. Know that your partner isn't deliberately withholding what you want. They're just as injured as you are, which is the source of their emotional numbness and withdrawals from emotional conversations. Know that what you want from them, is already inside of you. And this person is not your key to love. Practice generating love in your own body through meditations and other practices that teach you self love. #healing #relationship #love #mentalhealth #marriage