The Anxious-Avoidant Dance

The subsconcious “strategies” of both the anxious and avoidant were created in early attachment years because they served a purpose-the purpose was to protect themselves, create a sense of safety within, and to protect their most important relationships with their parents. These blueprints were deeply ingrained in childhood through no fault of theirs, and its crucial we acknowledge the purpose they served and give our childhood selves credit for finding ways to cope and survive. Unfortunately they don’t serve us well in adult relationships and they come from painful places and places of deep-rooted fear. These blueprints are the root of the negative cycles we see that I refer to as the “anxious/avoidant dance “. These aren’t the best ways to handle conflict, to honor ourselves, or our partners and we need to work towards more secure strategies. It is important to realize that no matter how painful the experience is for the partner, these trauma responses and coping behaviors are subconscious, a means to protect, and all we know until we learn new tools. If you have noticed you and your partner do this dance often, I can help you break the cycle and begin to move more in rhythm together. Book 1:1 coaching through my website. Leslie Wells Connection Coach #relationshipcoach #attachmentcoach #fypシ #fyipシツ #anxiousattachment #attachmentstyle #attachmentissues #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #foryourpage #marriagecoach #avoidantattachment #foryoupageofficiall #dismissiveavoidant