Psychologist Reveals: How to Get Close to an Avoidant Partner

Does your partner have an avoidant attachment style? Might you have an anxious attachment style? Anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics can be confusing, painful, and lonely—but as a psychologist with 15+ years of experience helping people navigate emotional intimacy, I’m here to help you understand avoidant shutdowns and what actually builds closeness. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:36 Why Dr Ruth doesn't like a lot of content about avoidant attachment on the internet 02:10 Understanding Avoidant Partners 05:50 How People with Avoidant Attachment Style Respond to their Partners 08:30 Impact of Avoidant Attachment Patterns on Partners 10:10 Toxic Loops in Avoidant-Anxious Relationships 13:42 How to Break the Toxic Loop 13:53 Understanding the Avoidant Partner's Withdrawal 15:09 Self Care in an Avoidant Relationship In this video, I share trauma-informed, attachment-based guidance for anyone struggling with: 17:21 Effective Communication Skills with An Avoidant Partner If you’re in love with someone who fears intimacy, shuts down during emotional conversations, or pulls away when things feel too close, this video is for you. Whether you're dealing with an emotionally unavailable partner, stuck in a push-pull dynamic, or navigating your own anxious attachment style, you're not alone—and this isn’t your fault. -Avoidant attachment style in romantic relationships -Anxious-avoidant relationship patterns and emotional distance -Feeling abandoned when your avoidant partner pulls away -The pain of loving an emotionally unavailable partner -Repeating push-pull dynamics that never lead to security -How to set healthy boundaries in relationships without going cold -Understanding and healing your own attachment style -How to stop chasing love or collapsing yourself to keep the peace 💬 What You'll Learn: -Why avoidant partners shut down—and why it’s not about you -How avoidant attachment styles develop and shape adult intimacy -What your own reactions might be telling you about your relational wounds -How to stay emotionally safe and grounded during disconnect -What to say (and not say) to invite closeness without pressure -When to hold steady, when to give space—and when it’s time to walk away -This is not about playing games, performing emotional self-erasure, or pretending you don’t care. It’s about clarity, emotional safety, and staying true to yourself—while learning how to connect with someone who has learned to fear closeness. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, you'll walk away with insights and tools to support both secure attachment and emotional healing in your relationship.