How To Love Through Heartbreak, Trauma, and Self Sabotage With Vylana Marcus & Caitlyn Howe

One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine. Time Stamps: 00:00- Intro 1:35- Caitlyn And Aubrey Were Engaged 3:50- Awake In The Darkness Documentary 8:00- Iboga Experience 11:46- The Eroticism Of The Desecration Of Self 24:57- Wylana's Deepest Struggles & Ayahuasca Experience 52:45- Personified Constructs Of God 59:30- Caitlyn's Deepest Struggles (Poem) 1:18:13- Until You're Intentional... 1:24:48- Lessons From The Darkness 1:37:22- The Greatest Trick Of The Devil 1:46:08- Haka Protest 1:49:00- Taught Not To Feel Our Feelings 1:53:40- Important Part Of "Doing The Work" Connect with Vylana Marcus Instagram | https://bit.ly/2PrQs0Z Spotify | https://spoti.fi/33qaS2q Connect with Caitlyn Howe Instagram | https://bit.ly/3qIlkOw Twitter | https://twitter.com/CaitlynHowe | Aubrey Marcus | ► Fit For Service: https://fitforservice.com/ ► Own The Day, Own Your Life: http://bit.ly/2vRz4so ► Aubrey Marcus Podcast: https://apple.co/2ns8zFP ► Ayahuasca Documentary: http://bit.ly/2OrNBTf ► Get 10% off all Onnit Products: https://bit.ly/3LMVArK ►Aubrey Marcus Poetry: http://bit.ly/2My1ezC ►Aubrey Marcus Binaural Beats: http://bit.ly/2vVc3EC | Listen to the Aubrey Marcus Podcast | ►iTunes | https://apple.co/2lMZRCn ►Stitcher | http://bit.ly/2G8ccJt | Connect with Aubrey | ►Website | http://bit.ly/2GesYqi ►Instagram | http://bit.ly/2BlfCEO ►Facebook | http://bit.ly/2F4nBZk ►Twitter | http://bit.ly/2BlGBAdAd ========================================­===== About the Podcast Founder of Onnit and modern philosopher Aubrey Marcus asks the important questions: How do we find our purpose, wake up to who we truly are, have a few more laughs, and human being a little better? The Aubrey Marcus Podcast brings in world-class guests from the fields of athletics, health, business, fitness, science, relationship and spirituality, and asks them to open up about the failures and successes that define their wisdom and character. Follow me on social to keep up with the latest, and meet many of the incredible guests we’ve been honored to have on the show.