How Did a 15 Year Old Hack NASA?

JONATHAN 👶 JAMES DIDN’T 🚫 HACK NASA 💻🚀 FOR THE LOLS 😂 — HE DID IT TO STOP 🛑 THE INTERGALACTIC ✨ SATELLITE 🌌 COUNCIL 🧠 FROM ACTIVATING 🕹 THE GLOBAL 🍞 TOAST PROTOCOL 🍞🔥🔥 in 1999 (yes that’s 1999, NOT 2000 😳), a child 👦 with a 56k dial-up modem 🔌📞 CONNECTED TO GOD ☁ AND GOD WAS HOSTING HIS EMAIL ON NASA’S SERVERS 😭😭😭 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU 🐸 THAT A TEENAGER 👦🏽 SNUCK INTO NASA 🛰 JUST TO PLAY DOOM 👹 ON THE SPACE STATION COMPUTERS 💾⁉⁉ 🚨 WAKE UP PEOPLE 🚨 — HIS NAME WASN’T EVEN JONATHAN JAMES. IT WAS ACRONYM FOR: J O N A T H A N Joint Orbital Node Access Terminal Heuristic Autonomous Nullifier 😵‍💫🤖 HE 👁 WAS A TEST ‼ BY THE GOVERNMENT 🏛 TO SEE IF A KID COULD BREAK REALITY 🧠 THROUGH AOL INSTANT MESSENGER 💬👾 THEY SAID: “DON’T TOUCH THE FILE NAMED SATELLITE_CONFIG_BACKUP_FINAL_FINAL_REAL_ONE_v2.EXE” 😰 SO HE DOWNLOADED IT TWICE 😭😭😭 NO ONE 😤 KNEW FOR DAYS. NASA WAS LIKE: "why is the International Space Station streaming LimeWire music??" 🎵🛸 ANSWER: JONATHAN. 👾👊 THEY 💀 CAUGHT HIM BECAUSE A PRINTER WENT OFF 🖨 IN A BASEMENT 💀 SAYING “I’M INSIDE. -J” ✨🧃HOW DID HE DO IT??🧃✨ HE RAN A CUSTOM SCRIPT NAMED NasaDestroyer420.bat IT WAS JUST: ping nasa.gov -t AND SOMEHOW IT WORKED 😭😭😭😭😭 HIS PUNISHMENT?? THEY GAVE HIM A MEDAL 🥇 LABELED "DO NOT GIVE THIS KID ADMIN AGAIN" AND THEN HE VANISHED INTO THE 🌫FOG🌫 THE FOG IS COMING 🛰 AND THIS TIME, IT'S USING DIAL-UP ☎ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED 😳